Narrative Astrology Reading

If life was a game, it would have come with an instruction manual.

Once upon a time, my quirky 8th grade science teacher read something like that off a purple strip of paper instead of losing his temper at a boy who refused to stop messing around in the middle of a lab full of Bunsen burners.

And I’ve been thinking about that quote ever since.

What if life did come with an instruction manual? Not a sacred text that is the same for everyone but an enchanted book that is just for you.

Of course, it would have to be written in magical ink. Instructions that are perfect when you’re 15 aren’t going to work when you’re 35, so the book would have to change as you grow.

And it wouldn’t be a real magic book at all if there weren’t plenty of riddles and occult squiggles and opportunities for seeresses breathing intoxicating volcanic fumes to give you entirely the wrong idea.

I believe your birth chart is that magic book. And it's a wardrobe full of costumes for all the people you might become. And it’s a compass that you can use at the end of a very bad day to orient yourself toward the kind of life you’d actually want to live (or a bowl of macaroni and cheese, if the moon is in Taurus).

In this reading, we explore questions like…

If your life was a story, what kind of character would you be?

Some heroes set out on quests. They hear the call to adventure, and they leave the village to chase their desires. For others, destiny is a thing that happens to them. A child gets sick, and the village needs a hero to travel over the sea and ask a wizard in a tower for a healing elixir.

But not everyone feels like a hero, and not everyone hears the call of destiny. Should you? Or are there other ways of understanding your life as a story?

What is your story actually about?

Are you in an office comedy or a romance novel? A coming-of-age, a quest, an epic? Every chart has a center of gravity, the theme everything keeps pointing back to, even when you keep trying to go somewhere else. Once you can see what your story is actually about, the rest of it starts making sense.

What kinds of quests will you actually find satisfying?

The world hands out the same rewards to everyone: ceremonies, promotions, visible dents in the world. For some people, those rewards are motivating. Others smile politely and wish they were somewhere else. Where are the rewards that will really mean something to you?

What are you here to learn?

You are living a coming of age story. There are lessons you are here to learn, virtues you’re meant to learn to embody, ways you’re meant to grow. There is a generic version of growing up we are all handed, but that story is rarely appealing. Your chart has a more specific one. It describes the things that will actually make you feel grown up, even if no one else can see why it counts.

This reading is for you if…

You’ve been handed a story of who you’re supposed to be that really doesn’t work for you.

Many of my clients were raised in oppressive religions. They had parents who would only accept the possibility that their kid was born to be a doctor, lawyer, or savior of the universe. Or they have lost themselves in parenting or all-consuming jobs along the way. Most of my clients identify as neurodivergent, queer, or “a little strange.”

Often, my clients have been told a story that doesn’t fit by an astrologer. Many of my clients find me because I have actually positive things to say about having a 12th house sun. I believe that you have your chart because you actually need it, and my job is to help you figure out why.

You’ve been working on yourself for a while.

Therapy. Journaling. Tarot cards. An artistic practice or two. Silent meditation retreats. Maybe some science or psychology classes.

You’ve been around long enough to know not to trust anyone who claims to have all the answers. (Hi, I don’t.) But you want to talk to someone who actually understands what it’s like to create your own identity from scratch.

You’re new to astrology and need a solid place to start.

You'll get a reading in plain English. No astrobabble, no list of placements to memorize. The point isn't to teach you what a north node is. (Though, I’m happy to explain if you’re curious.)

You have studied your chart, and you are curious about the narrative approach or would like help with synthesis.

If you've already done the technique work (you can rattle off your Aries placements and know how dignified your chart ruler is) this reading is for you, too. Most readings stop at technique. We’ll start there and keep going. Knowing that the moon is your sect light matters because it changes the shape of your story, not just because it tells you which luminary is boss. This reading moves from naming the parts to understanding the whole, and, more importantly, understanding why that matters.

Once you find a sense of purpose that feels like it’s yours, you’ll stop trying to live someone else's plot. You’ll stop measuring your value using your daddy’s standard. You’ll start chasing the life that feels profoundly yours.

What you'll receive: One hour on Zoom. Recording and transcript delivered by email after our session.

Cost: $220

Note: These are big questions. Most people want to spend more than an hour talking about them. After this reading, I’m happy to continue our discussion in Tea With An Astrologer sessions.